I am an HIV counselor and tester and I've only read Mr. King's book. I have met many men who continue to hide behind marriages and continue with this harmful way of living. In my profession, I try to counsel wives, girlfriends, etc. on risk reduction, and how to protected themselves from becoming infected. The fight continues!!!

I read J. L. King's first book on the "Down Low - A Journey into the lives of "straight" black men who sleep with men". I must first say, I appreciate his honesty in coming forward. I was horrified after reading the book and though King asked that not all men be judged in such a manner - I am afraid I have to definitely do that. I don't trust another black man specifically and all men in general. From the book they appear trifling and selfish, sleeping with "dead strangers" they don't know from a hole in the wall without condoms, then go home and sleep with their wives. Also I was appalled to see how high instant gratification was on the list of the men, to the point where they risk the lives of their unsuspecting women and their own, as well as the future of their kids. Question who takes care of the kids when both parents die of AIDS?

I was so anxious to read "On The Down Low", when I initially heard about it. And I do believe that it is okay for writers to profit from their opionions and beliefs. But I am in total disapproval of authors and individuals who use the bible to justify their behaviors that are an abomination to God, issues such as homosexuality in this case. I specifically can recall Mr. King doing so many times throughtout his book. So let's start being honest with ourselves when we decide to write these books.

I think this down low phenomenon is very much a reality. I am a young black woman who has had a lot of experiences with men on the down low.I feel that this epidemic is very scary to young single women. I just don't understand why these men just can't be honest with themselves and the women that they encounter.

I suppose "curiousity" can become a deadly characteristic when taken too far by less responsible individuals. Sometime we all go there, in our private imaginations and fantasies - wondering, speculating. And, of course, some of us have greater imaginations than others. However, good moral sense and a sound value system, should dictate that it isn't always best to give in to these different imaginings, although many have. However, those would not be responsible individuals. And so, I guess then it would stand to reason "why" they would be the individuals to live so destructively - to the point of jeapordizing others, i.e. their unknowing wives, unaware girlfriends, with their reckless senseless behaviors. How else could you view an individual who could find an excuse to justify an act that God Planly views as an abomination - other than being someone with some seriously critical mental issues. That's frightening, considering how many of these closet cases are in national leadership positions. Just where exactly are they leading the rest of the nation, and are we really going to allow them to take us there, and our children?

Susan

hello BE family. my question is if it wasn't such a health risk would this be such a hot topic? because there are a lot of bisexual women that don't tell their spouses. so is it just the fact that there is a higher risk to become infected with an STD in DL men or is it just that people are disgusted? i'm just curious because personally i think it's horrible that someone would have unprotected sex with anyone other than their spouse. but to answer the original question i don't think there is anything wrong with those authors making money off of their experiences because if i had something juicy to tell about my life i'd break out the pen and paper real fast :)

I haven't read any of those books, though I was very interested in reading the book by J.L. King and may do so in the near future. What bothers me is not the authors expressing their opinions and telling their truths--because, to me, part of why they do so is to help black women--but the way black women react to these books and these men. I know that the black community--on the whole--think of themselves as religious and seem to have a problem with homosexuality. But the responses I often see from black women to these books and to homosexuals say to me that they walk away from these books with absolutely no understanding or enlightenment on what it's like for homosexual or bisexual blacks, particularly black men. Maybe if the cheating aspect wasn't involved, as that tends to irritate black women to the core, we could get some understanding of our homosexual brothers and sisters. But, to me, if you take the homosexual aspect out altogether, there's really no difference between what gay black men do to black women and what heterosexual black men do to black women, except that maybe some black women feel threatened because they can't compete with a man on an even playing field...and, most notably, because they feel this is, yet, another way we are losing dateable black men.

What I wish black people would see is that blacks have impossible standards for the black community on the most pointless aspects of life (i.e. "how black are you") and ridiculously low standards on the most important aspects of life (i.e. education). You can't tell black people to "just be honest" in one breath and then put them down for being who they are, saying it's "abomination" or a "choice" or "imagining" the next. You can't say it's irresponsible to be gay and then say it's irresponsible to not tell black women you are--though it's certainly irresponsible not to practice safe sex and, at least, let someone know you are dating other people. You can't expect a sense of unity among black people when you, yourself, won't accept all black people. In short, blacks are always giving mixed messages about what's expected, and then wonder why some blacks feel like they should be on the "down low." This is especially hard for black men, who on top of all the messages they get from blacks about who they are supposed to be, get messages from society about who they should be as a man.

Finally, I wish that while black women are yelling gays should be honest without seeing why that is such a hard request, that black women would start being honest about why they have such a problem with homosexual men...because the real issue for them is not at all God or honesty. I'm not justifying black men cheating...just saying take a look in the mirror before you judge.

I am all for these authors trying to get the word out about what is going on in our community. Had I not read the book, I may not even have known it existed.

i agree with temeka. if there wasn't a health factor involved then this would not be a controversial issue. if 25 million people have not died from AIDS i don't think anyone would care. it is funny how AIDS is the topic and everybody is forgetting about Syphillis, HPV, and other diseases that affect our culture. the oly reason why it is such a issue is because "we" feel that black men and other races of men are infected their partners.

i honestly dislike JL King altogether. everything he says is contradicting and hypocritcal. he likes men BUT he is not gay. he doesn't sleep with women BUT he isn't gay. he didn't use his marriage as a cover up BUT he was sleeping with men. there is always a but which doesn't make sense to me. if you are attracted to the same sex then you are either gay or bisexual, plain and simple. there is no way of sugar coating it. he needs to man up and accept who and what he is.
there is nothing wrong with being gay. i love gay people, i am a bisexual women. but be real about it, keep it real. be honest with everyone in your life.

I read JL kings book the thing that disturbs me is his version of the story is totally different from what his wife says and what he said on Oprah , Also when this happened was the pre aids days of the late 70's 79-80
A lot of closeted men are getting bad raps with this new Dl Phenomenen which goes back to biblical times . All men don/t have sex with out protection